(Mrs. Skinbone is coming , luckily she is a bit deaf)
Mrs. Skinbone: Sit down, be silent and pay attention to what I am
going to teach you!
Miss Shy: That’s too much all at once!
Mrs. Skinbone: I beg your pardon?
Shy: (more loudly)
I was wondering what your lesson is going to be about,
I am sure it will be very (boring) low
Mrs. Skinbone: I know you appreciate….. Well… today we are going
to talk about a magic potion which can make fat people, like
Mrs. Piggy and Mr. Taxus , lose weight and get thinner…..like
Locks:To be thin! My dream………
Mrs. Skinbone: There are three steps:
First step -
Take a mirror and hang it on at the back of your front
door: that way you can see what you look like every time you go
Pupils : What nonsense!
Mrs. Skinbone: What did you say?
Swot: How interesting this
first rule is…..
Mrs. Skinbone: OK. Let’s carry on.
Second step: Stick a photo of yourself in which you look really fat
and overweight on
the fridge door. That will stop you from opening it too often
Swot: A mirror on the door, a photo on the fridge.. what
does she teach?
Mrs. Skinbone: Any questions Miss Swot?
Swot: I was just telling Sarah how useful this lesson is…
Mrs. Skinbone: Yes it is actually: and now our potion. Here are the
ingredients: we need two legs of a twenty-year old frog, a
viper’s tail, two bats’ wings, a goat’s canine, four
leaves of a stinging nettle, five dogrose thorns and a quarter
of a pound of algae from the Dead Sea which is very difficult to
:Boh.. boh…. They pretend to vomit
Mrs. Skinbone: Any comment?
Miss Vandom: It sounds delicious, very tasty…..
Mrs. Skinbone: And so it is Miss Vandom! And now let’s get on with our recipe! Cut the viper’s
tail, the frog’s legs and the bats’ wings into very small
pieces then add the
goat’s canine, after grinding it , of course! Put everything
into a mixer and add the nettle leaves, the dogrose thorns
previously salted, and last but not least the Dead Sea algae
which give our potion that special flavour…..(
she closes her eyes as tasting and smelling it)
Vandom: Your potion
you mean… boh, boh
Pupils: Boh, boh How
good it sounds………
Mrs. Skinbone: I know you’ll
like it very much! Have a tea spoon of it three times a day
you’ll get good results in just two weeks’!
Shy: How disgusting!
Mrs. Skinbone: Pardon Miss Shy?
Shy: That’s exactly what I was looking for………
Mrs. Skinbone: Don’t forget:
I am like this thanks to the potion (
the bell rings) and you……you
won’t hate your mirror anymore!!!
Pupils: Poor us!!!
Mrs. Sharp’s class
carrying a heavy bag
Pupils: Good morning teacher
Mrs. Sharp: Morning..
Chains:I can’t stand her!
Miss Swot: Neither can I!
Mrs. Sharp: Put away that glass Miss Vandom! This subject requires
your complete attention, not your mirrors!
Vandom: I apologize Mrs. Sharp! (I really hate her!)
Mrs. Sharp: Have you done your homework, Miss
Shy: I’m afraid; ….I couldn’t… my grandfather died
Mrs. Sharp: That isn’t a good reason… you have to do it
Shy: Yes, of course, I won’t forget that Mrs. Sharp.
Mrs. Sharp: I hope not! And what about you Mr. Potter?
Henry Potter: Je suis désolé madame mais je n’ai pas pu faire mon
devoir parce que ma mère est allée à l’hôpital ………..
Mrs. Sharp: ( I can’t understand him) Not you!! I mean Harry
Harry Potter: I’ m sorry madam, last night I really hurt myself, I
fell down the stairs and broke… as you ……..
Mrs. Sharp: I don’t believe a single word Mr. Potter. What I do
know for sure is that you spent all afternoon riding that
horrible broomstick Mr Badthorn gave you!!
Harry Potter: No, really, I promise. I did my......
Mrs. Sharp: And you Miss Swot, show me your homework! Where is it?
Swot: (coughing) I
actually wanted to…but…. my neighbour next door…. you
know…..the witch…asked me to take her to the cemetery to
visit her beloved husband Wiz
the Wizard… we came back at midnight… and because of that.. I…..
Mrs. Sharp: You had no time to do your homework! I
understand…Naughty girl I bet you played all afternoon with
that wretched wand! Listen to me.. all of you: I am going to
tell Mr. HE and now write
down your homework for the next lesson: Could you please
calculate the length of a one legged frog’s jump, considering
that he is one hundred years old and lives in a two meters’
deep muddy pond?